Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Show stopper!

So, I tried to move last Thursday. The place where I have been parked at has become unstable, due to the drug use of the people also living there, and rather than stick it out and deal with it I decided to run-away. So, I called a tow truck, but the one that came to move me couldn't get the trailer high enough to clear the tires. I have known that there is not much clearance and I should get smaller tires, one day when I have an extra grand. I thought I could move a short distance, I have before. The tires started smoking! I made it 100 yards down the highway and ended up stopped in the turning lane. It was getting dark. They called another tow truck, but the only one they could send also couldn't get the hitch up high enough! It was getting darker and we were still stuck in the turning lane in the middle of the highway! I had already racked up a bill for two tow trucks, so rather than call a third truck, while it was getting darker still, I realized I had to go right back where I started from, now just parked facing the other direction! But, no one got hurt, nothing got damaged.  All good. Nobody's fault but my own stubborn self! Now it is time to fix the problem I have known about all along, problems with the foundation. I have been plagued by the drug abuse of others my whole life, from the childhood, through to my adult relationships. I have always decided to run. Well, now I am stuck and it is up to me to face up to the issues, work through to find a solution, and move on with my life. I am putting my tires up for sale, working with my lawyer to get the property damage part of the bike vs. car settlement going so I have some funds to apply to this practical problem, and working on the solution to the moral problem.  I need to figure out how to assert my boundaries in ways that others will respect, and not run away when they don't, but keep standing my ground. I have to learn to face my knee jerk reactions to the fear induced by the drug abuse of people whom I trust and am close to, so that it doesn't debilitate me in seeing what needs to be done and to carry it out, to keep myself happy, safe and sane.

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